Funny / Humorous
Sometimes it’s easy for us Christians to take ourselves just a wee bit too seriously. We like to think that Jesus had at least a bit of a sense of humor and believe that laughter can usually help us through the toughest of times. It can also deepen our connection to God.
Take some time browsing through our list of Funny / Humorous Church Sign Sayings. Some of the messages submitted had us rolling on the floor. You can help cheer up your fellows and the whole community with one very simple, very humorous church sign saying.
| Church Sign Saying | Character Count | Word Count |
|---|---|---|
| 2 things you can count on: Death and Taxes. Are you ready for both? | 69 | 14 |
| 7 days without prayer makes 1 weak | 34 | 7 |
| A closed mouth gathers no foot. | 31 | 6 |
| A cold church is like cold butter, it doesn't spread well. | 58 | 11 |
| Always remember that Hell is un-cool. | 37 | 6 |
| A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues. | 90 | 17 |
| Autumn leaves - Jesus doesn't. | 30 | 5 |
| Be friends with Jesus, use Faith book, the Bible | 48 | 9 |
| Be ye fishers of men....You catch them, He'll clean them! | 57 | 10 |
| Cant sleep? Come hear a sermon. | 31 | 6 |
| Church. Cheaper than NFL tickets. | 33 | 5 |
| Church parking only. Violaters will be baptized | 48 | 7 |
| Coming soon: Manufacturers recall. Are you ready??? | 51 | 7 |
| Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help | 46 | 9 |
| Down in the mouth? It’s time for a faith lift | 45 | 10 |
| Easter is more than something to dye for | 40 | 8 |
| ETERNITY: smoking, or non-smoking? | 34 | 4 |
| Exposure to the Son prevents burning | 36 | 6 |
| Extra,Extra, Read all about it! There's one God and there's no doubt about it! | 78 | 14 |
| Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. | 85 | 15 |
| Fight Truth Decay...Study The Bible Daily | 41 | 6 |
| Firefighters can rescue you, but only Jesus saves. | 50 | 8 |
| Forbidden fruit creates many jams. | 34 | 5 |
| Forgive your enemies, it will mess with their mind. | 52 | 9 |
| For heavens sake! what on earth are you doing? | 46 | 9 |
| FREE bread and juice inside!!! | 30 | 5 |
| Free life insurance! Details inside. Benefits are out of this world. | 69 | 11 |
| Free Trip To Heaven...Details Inside | 36 | 5 |
| Friends don't let friends die without Jesus | 43 | 7 |
| Get off Facebook and get into my Book. | 38 | 8 |
| Get off facebook and take out faith book | 40 | 8 |
| Get rich quick. Count your blessings! | 38 | 6 |
| Get right or get left! | 22 | 5 |
| Getting dunked in OUR pool has great significance | 50 | 8 |
| God: The perfect lover | 22 | 4 |
| God Answers Knee-Mail | 21 | 3 |
| God doesn't have a Plan 'B' | 27 | 6 |
| God expects spiritual fruit, not religious nuts | 47 | 7 |
| God grades on the cross, not on the curve | 41 | 9 |
| God has two dwellings; one in heaven, and the other in a meek and thankful heart | 80 | 16 |
| God is CEO of the Universe | 26 | 6 |
| God is like Allstate, you’re in good hands. | 43 | 8 |
| God is like Coca-Cola, he’s the real thing. | 43 | 8 |
| God Sent the first text message...The Bible | 43 | 7 |
| God Sent The Very First Text Message: The Bible! | 50 | 9 |
| God wants full custody not just a weekend visit. | 48 | 9 |
| Google can't satisfy every search | 33 | 5 |
| Google doesn't have all the answers. | 36 | 6 |
| Got Jesus? | 10 | 2 |
| Got jesus? I do. | 17 | 4 |
| Guess who created pleasure. He might just know a thing or two... | 64 | 12 |
| Heaven Deal or No Deal! | 23 | 5 |
| Hell!...I’d forgotten about that! | 33 | 4 |
| Hell! I thought it didn’t matter what you believed as long as you were sincere! | 79 | 15 |
| Hell! I thought I’d gotten away with it! | 40 | 8 |
| Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him. | 67 | 14 |
| If God Is Your Co-Pilot, you better switch seats! | 49 | 9 |
| If man came from apes... Why are there still apes? | 50 | 10 |
| If the devil is knocking at your front door, let Jesus answer it | 64 | 13 |
| If you dont know Jesus you are the biggest loser | 48 | 10 |
| If you don't like this heat, practice Heaven-conditioning. | 58 | 8 |
| If you haven't heard from GOD" lately, Try sending some knee mail!" | 70 | 12 |
| If you think it's hot now, just wait. | 37 | 8 |
| If you want to be Hater"... Hate Evil" | 41 | 8 |
| I pray only on days that end in 'y'! | 36 | 9 |
| Is Your Life Running On Empty? Free Fillups Here Every Sunday! | 62 | 11 |
| Jesus: Gateway to the supernatural | 34 | 5 |
| Jesus: the most exciting person in the universe | 47 | 8 |
| Jesus Christ! The answer is on everyone’s lips | 46 | 8 |
| Jesus did the only extreme world makeover, the flood | 52 | 9 |
| Jesus died for Myspace in heaven | 32 | 6 |
| Jesus is my B.F.F. who's yours. | 31 | 6 |
| Jesus satisfies | 15 | 2 |
| Jesus was the first Undercover Boss | 35 | 6 |
| Life: the ball’s in your court After death: it’s God’s turn | 59 | 11 |
| Lost? Use GPS - God's Plan of Salvation | 39 | 8 |
| May all your days have Son Shine"" | 36 | 7 |
| May all your troubles be as short as your New Year's resolutions | 64 | 12 |
| Moses was once a basket case. | 29 | 6 |
| Need a new life? God accepts trade-ins | 38 | 7 |
| Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart. | 49 | 8 |
| Now open between Easter and Christmas! | 38 | 6 |
| On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence. | 50 | 7 |
| Our Church is Like Fudge - Sweet with a Few Nuts | 48 | 11 |
| Our Church is Prayer Conditioned | 32 | 5 |
| Party in Hell cancelled due to fire | 35 | 7 |
| Patience is a virtue heavy in wait | 34 | 7 |
| Pessimists need a kick in the can'ts. | 37 | 7 |
| Rapture can happen any moment Come in and get a jump start! | 60 | 12 |
| Real Tongues of Fire does not mean gossip. Acts 2:1-4 | 53 | 10 |
| Repent now! Avoid the rush on judgment day! | 43 | 8 |
| Screaming Oh God!" "Oh God!" in bed on Sunday morning doesn't count as going to church" | 91 | 16 |
| Sign broken - come inside for messages | 38 | 7 |
| Son block has never worked for me. | 34 | 7 |
| Souler energy used here | 23 | 4 |
| Stop, Drop and Roll does not work in hell. | 42 | 9 |
| T.G.I.F. - Thank God I'm Forgiven | 33 | 6 |
| Thank God for dirty dishes - at least we have food to eat. | 58 | 13 |
| The best vitamin for a Christian is B1. | 39 | 8 |
| The Bible has the longest publishing run of any Book. | 53 | 10 |
| The church is a gift from God. Some assembly required | 54 | 10 |
| The Devil may be stoking the fire, But God has his hand on the thermostat. | 74 | 15 |
| The government will never have an Eternal Life Policy. | 54 | 9 |
| The man who tries to walk two roads at the same time will split his pants | 73 | 16 |
| The mighty oak was a little nut that stood it's ground. | 55 | 11 |
| The pastors on vacation, come join us on Sunday. | 48 | 9 |
| The Ten Commandments Are Not Multiple Choice. | 45 | 7 |
| Those who are praying for snow, please stop | 43 | 8 |
| Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk! | 41 | 8 |
| To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven. | 129 | 22 |
| Try Jesus. If You Don't Like Him the Devil Will Take You Back. | 62 | 13 |
| Try our sunday's there better than Dairy Queen's! | 49 | 8 |
| Understanding God would be easier if we had infinite IQ | 55 | 10 |
| Under The Same Management For 2000 Years | 40 | 7 |
| Under The Same Management For Over 2000 Years | 45 | 8 |
| Wal*Mart isn't the only saving place. | 37 | 6 |
| Wal-Mart Is Not the Only Saving Place. Come On In. | 50 | 10 |
| Wal-Mart might save you money but, Church saves your soul. | 58 | 10 |
| Want to be friends with Jesus and the angels and saints? Try Faith" book!" | 76 | 14 |
| We Are Not Dairy Queen...But We Have Great Sundays | 50 | 9 |
| We have a great prophet-sharing plan. Details inside | 52 | 8 |
| What's missing in CH_ _CH? | 26 | 5 |
| When God saw you – It was love at first sight | 45 | 11 |
| Without the Bread of Life, you are toast! | 41 | 8 |
| You don’t have to be brain-dead to live for Jesus, but when you are, you’ll be glad you did | 91 | 19 |
| YOU HAVE ONE NEW FRIEND REQUEST! JESUS ACCEPT/DENY | 50 | 8 |
| You have to wonder about humans. They think God is dead and Elvis is alive! | 75 | 15 |
| Come in and try our Supper. It is free and can free you. | 56 | 13 |
| Extreme Savings offered Here, No Coupons required! | 43 | 7 |
| Act your praise, not your shoe size. | 28 | 7 |
| Everyone has a knee-mail account, but not everyone uses it. | 59 | 11 |
| God Chats 24-7 | 12 | 4 |
| Apply Here. Advancement Guaranteed. | 33 | 4 |
| We manage life savings. | 23 | 4 |
| Free redemptions inside. | 25 | 3 |
| Invest here. 100% return guaranteed. | 36 | 5 |
| Don't have a prayer? Free refills inside. | 40 | 7 |
| Try our tax-free rewards program. | 33 | 5 |
| Tax-free benefits inside. | 25 | 3 |
| See Me now or pay Me later. | 27 | 7 |
| Heaven. Free map inside. | 28 | 4 |
| Grace Factory Outlet | 20 | 3 |
| Are you lost? Pick up your GPS . Gods Problem Solver! | 48 | 9 |
| Energy crisis? Seek GOD and get a puppy. | 32 | 8 |
| God, make me the person my dog thinks I am. | 32 | 10 |
| This is a sign! | 11 | 4 |
| C.O.P.S - Constantly Obediently Preaching Salvation What'cha gonna do when He comes for you? | 76 | 13 |
| T.G.I.F.- Thank God I'm Free | 18 | 5 |
| What if God doesn’t believe in atheists? | 38 | 7 |